Boyproof
by Krispykreme1468
Summary: It all started the same day that I came to the conclusion that no boy on this entire planet would ever fall in love with me... I was just about ready to settle for the first guy that forgot his ducttaped glasses and actually thought I was decent looking.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: So… Here it is… Reviews are loved! Thanks to my wonderful beta, Punkchick99. You should all read her story, it's amazing.

_Memoirs of a Young Girl_

_It's funny how you can be lonely anywhere, from the most crowded room to the emptiest. I hate the crowded ones. The rooms where everyone is talking and laughing and you have no one to talk to or laugh with. Those are the loneliest times._

_I guess it all started the same day that I had come to the conclusion that no boy on this entire planet would ever fall in love with me. Not that I didn't want them to. I would have killed for them to all fawn over me. That way I would've been able to pick the very best. Instead I was ready to settle for the first guy that forgot his duct-taped glasses and actually thought I was decent looking._

After dotting her last period, fifteen-year-old Kristy Leigh set her quill down on the table and frowned at her work. She had no idea why she had just written what she did. Tiredness was the most likely cause for the unconscious flow of words. She was supposed to be writing about a day that was most memorable to her childhood, but it wasn't coming along very well. Every time she wrote something it just sounded bad. She crinkled up that section of parchment and threw it across the room missing the waste can by several feet.

_Back before I found out that I truly was a witch I took Karate lessons. I didn't really like them, but my mum made me keep at it no matter how much I cried and complained. I was alright at grappling, as I really loved to choke all of the people who despised me with such outright passion. That night my opponent was a boy named Jason. He was the perfect picture of eleven-year-old cuteness: light brown hair, big blue eyes, and an incredible tan. I didn't stand a chance against him. _

Kristy looked at what she had just written. This memory was even worse than her first attempt. Thus it too became a ball of paper lying lost in the garbage.

"Hey, Lily, what did you write about for Divination? Nothing that I write seems to be any good." Kristy asked tugging at a piece of blonde hair before pulling it up into a ponytail with the elastic that rarely left her wrist. Seconds later, chunks of hair fell forward into her face. Kristy frowned as her attempt to pull her hair back failed miserably. "I hate this new haircut! My bangs are too short."

"I wrote about the sorting ceremony," Lily replied nonchalantly with her head bent over her own work. "That was probably the scariest moment of my life."

_The first day that I went to Diagon Alley I was thoroughly amazed by everyone and everything around me. I, being eleven, ran into the sweet shop the moment I saw it. I had never seen as many different types of candy in all of my life. But as my attention was on them, some force pushed against my shoulder, causing me to lose my balance and fall flat on my face._

"_Oh, I'm so sorry!" came a voice from above me. I looked up to find that its owner was a girl with long red hair who looked about my age. "I wasn't watching where I was going! I was looking at all of these cool sweets," the girl apologized, offering me a hand._

"I'm never going to be able to think of a good memory. All of mine suck. Really badly."

Lily grinned, "What about our first train ride? With Emily and Rayanne."

"Oh yeah," Kristy giggled, "That was pretty much the funniest."

_On my first trip on the Hogwarts Express I was a nervous wreck. I was sitting with Lily Evans, who I had met briefly in Diagon Alley several weeks before, having a particularly awkward conversation when the door slid open and two girls stepped inside._

"_Do you mind if we sit here?" asked a short brown-haired girl. This fierceness in this girl's eyes took me by surprise. _

"_She got us kicked out of our old compartment," said the taller girl. Who was standing next to the first one. The second girl's hair seemed to be quite undecided, not only in the red-brown of the color, but also in the texture, seeming to struggle between being curly or straight._

"_It was not my fault. It was that perverted James Potter," the first girl explained._

"_Anyway, can we sit here?" repeated the second girl._

"_Sure!" Lily exclaimed. "But only if you tell us this story. Oh and I'm Lily, by the way. And this is Kristy."_

_I smiled at them. They seemed nice enough, and I was a little bit intrigued myself at what had happened in that compartment._

"_I'm Emily," the first girl said, "and this is Rayanne."_

"_We've been friends for like ever," the girl called Rayanne added._

"_That's cool," Lily replied easily, "Kristy and I only met a few weeks ago in Diagon Alley."_

"_So what happened in your old compartment anyway?" I asked, the curiosity growing inside of me._

_Rayanne giggled while Emily scrunched her face into a don't-remind-me look._

"_Well, we were in a compartment with a bunch of other people so there wasn't really anywhere to sit. But we just had to stay in that compartment," Emily began giving Rayanne a sour look._

"_What? Even you admitted that those boys were cute," Rayanne said, sticking out her tongue at Emily._

"_Anyway," Emily continued, "I kind of shifted over and my foot hit something, but nothing was there. I just assumed I had hit someone else's foot and they had moved it out of the way. The third time this happened, I bent down and felt a big lump of invisibleness. I pulled of the invisibility cloak and saw that James Potter was on the floor looking up my skirt!"_

"_I had the sense to wear pants," commented Rayanne._

_Emily glared at her before continuing, "Naturally I screamed at him before yanking his underwear up his butt, giving him a massive wedgie."_

"_Then the other boys yelled at us about James not being able to control his needs. Then they threw us out," Rayanne concluded._

_Lily and I broke into a fit of giggles. I could just imagine Emily pulling some kid's underwear up his butt. She was definitely the kind of girl who would do that._

"_So was he wearing boxers or briefs?" Lily asked._

"_Boxers," Emily replied with a small smile and a raise of her eyebrows._

_This comment sent us all into an easy and very giggly conversation. And that was the day that I made my three best friends of five years. _

Kristy smiled at her finished work. It was actually not a horrible assignment. She would rather write something like this than an essay on Moonstones any day. She slowly unrolled a fresh roll of parchment in order to begin her potions essay. She wrote her name at the top before pausing. "You know, I really don't feel like writing another essay. What time is it anyway?"

Lily glanced at her watch, "Oh my God! It's already three in the morning."

"Wow, we've been up so long. Homework sucks," Kristy replied while rolling up her parchment. "I think I'll go to bed soon. I'm too tired to concentrate on homework."

But before Kristy could even get up out of the seat, the portrait hole caught her attention by opening and quickly swinging back down with nothing having gone through it. The confused look on the girl's faces soon disappeared when James Potter and Sirius Black threw off their invisibility cloak.

"Where've you been?" Lily asked with a slight scowl.

"That's our business," James replied with a smirk. "Unless, Evans, you'd like to make it your business."

"Oh, get bent, Potter," she said, giving him a dirty look.

"Lily," Kristy replied with a small smile, "I'm pretty sure that's what he's trying to do."

Lily attempted to hide her red cheeks with a change of subject. "Don't you two have any homework?"

"Homework?" Sirius asked, as if it was an absurd suggestion, "James and I are above homework."

"In other words, they're letting their homework pile up until the last minute when they plan to write something completely random and pointless in hopes of getting a P," Kristy interpreted.

"So what? It's the OWLs that are important part and we've got them all figured out."

"I'm going to love watching you get like two OWLs and not be able to take any subjects next year," Kristy laughed, slouching further back on the couch, her desire for sleep quickly forgotten.

"You wait and see who fails their OWLs, Kristy," Sirius replied, plopping down next to her on the couch.

"Hey, where are Remus and Peter?" Lily asked, as though she had just noticed that they were not in the room.

"Asleep," James explained, "They were too scared to go with us. Well, Peter was too scared. Remus is just afraid he'll lose his Prefect Badge."

"Understandable," Lily replied smugly fingering her own badge. "Well, you wouldn't know that now would you?"

James ran a hand through his messy black hair. "I wouldn't want to be a Prefect."

"You're just jealous, Potter," Lily returned haughtily, nose held high.

"Of you? You're off your rocker Evans," James said in an effort to be more conceited than Lily.

After exchanging quick glances with Sirius, Kristy grinned. "Aww, you two are fighting like an old married couple."

Sirius took the bait. "Now if we could just get them on a first name basis."

"They do make a cute couple don't they?" Kristy added in a pseudo thoughtful kind of way.

Red shades tinted the cheeks of Lily and James as they muttered something about sleep and went up to their respective dormitories without even turning to look at one another.

"That was pretty good!" Sirius exclaimed. "We make such a good team, you and I."

Kristy smiled a soft smile back to Sirius. "You think so?"

"Yeah," Sirius replied, a grin extending across his face. "In fact, I say we get a butterbeer to celebrate."

"Celebrate what?" Kristy asked glancing at her watch. It was nearly 3:30 and she still had a pile of homework all due within a week.

"Life," Sirius stated, giving her an enchanting look. It was a smile, but much more than a smile. There was a beg behind it that softly whispered, 'Come on! When's the last time you've really had fun?' Mischievous brown eyes framed in long dark eyelashes ensured a great time, while black spirals of thick, gelled hair fell about his face in such a way to make the illegal journey to the Three Broomsticks seem almost innocent. It was impossible to say no.

"Alright," Kristy sighed, "I need a butterbeer after six hours of homework."

"Well let's go then," Sirius said. His grin broadened as he picked up the invisibility cloak and walked toward the portrait hole with it. Kristy lingered for a moment, not sure if she really should go. "Coming?" Sirius asked with that same enchanting look on his face.

"Of course," Kristy replied, once again unable to say anything but yes. She hurried toward him, and he threw the cloak over both of them. As he did this, Kristy became slowly intoxicated by the smell of his cologne. The cloak refused to give them any fresh air.

Slowly, the two walked down corridor after corridor taking careful steps as to not stumble. They stopped when they reached the middle of the fourth floor corridor where they stood for a moment, looking into their replica eyes. They both took out their wands and placed them on the mirror exactly where their reflection's hearts would be. Suddenly, the mirror disappeared and the two scrambled into the hole behind it. As soon as they had fallen into the rather large passageway, the mirror reappeared, causing the bit of light emitting from the corridor to vanish. Sirius threw off the cloak and the two stood up.

"_Lumos!_" Sirius muttered holding his wand out. As the light from Sirius's wand wasn't enough for both of them, Kristy lit hers as well. They walked down the wide passage in silence for what seemed like hours until at last they saw a thin line of light. Sirius reached up and pushed open the door that appeared to belong to a basement. Light flooded into the passage, causing Kristy to have to shield her eyes until they got used to the brightness of the streetlamp overhead.

The two found their way to the Three Broomsticks and sat down at an empty table strategically located in the far corner, allowing them to get out without being seen if necessary.

"You want a butterbeer?" Sirius asked.

"Yeah, thanks," Kristy replied watching him weave his way through the empty tables up to the bar. It didn't take long for Sirius to sit back down seeing as there was only three other people in the whole bar. As he sat down there was a slightly awkward silence in which neither of them could think of anything to say.

"So what do you think our chances are at beating Slytherin in our next match?" Kristy asked trying to pick a neutral topic even though she neither understood nor liked quidditch.

"I think we can do it," he replied, "I don't know though. I mean, we do have some good players, like Rayanne. She's a beast. And of course there is James. But you know, I'm pretty sure that Slytherin is going to play dirty. You know, with Lucius Malfoy as their captain they won't even try to play fair."

"Yeah," Kristy agreed, a pink tint coming to her face, feeling a change in subject was in order, "So do you like cheese?"

"Wait," Sirius said with an expression of realization on his face, "Do you like him? Because Emily told me that you do but I told her that's impossible because you could never like a Slytherin git like him."

Kristy's face burned at the revelation of her deepest secret. Wasn't it embarrassing enough, liking an ass like him? And now she would have it spread all over school and would be made fun of for the rest of her life. What gave Sirius and Emily the right to snoop in her personal life? It wasn't any of their business.

"God, you really do like him don't you?" Sirius asked at the sight of Kristy's crimson face.

Kristy felt like she was in a sauna. Her forehead was clammy. There was no way that this could be happening. But it was. It was and she could do nothing about it, "It doesn't even matter," Kristy mumbled, "Nothing's ever going to happen about it."

"Why not?" Sirius was perplexed. "Don't you want things to happen about it?"

"Of course I do," Kristy swallowed, "But guys just don't like me."

"Why would you even want Malfoy to like you?"

"Because he is so hot and funny and witty and smart and ripped," Kristy said, staring off into space. "But he will never like me, just like every other guy on the planet."

"Come on, there has to be some guy who has liked you," Sirius asked sure of this fact.

"When I was thirteen, over the summer this muggle boy went out with me for like three days. He was all, 'I've always thought you were beautiful' and 'I've wanted to ask you out forever.' I believed him. After a while, it was obvious that he was only going out with me to get close to my friend. Then he dumped me. The crazy thing is, I didn't even really like him, but when he asked me out, it felt so good. Like someone actually chose me above everyone else. Like someone actually thought I was special.

"You know, the opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference. If someone hated you, they have to care about you in some way right? If you were near them, they would want to get away from you. They would care if you were next to them. But if they are just indifferent, they could care less if you are next to them or across the room from them or even in existence. Every guy I've ever liked couldn't care less about me. But you know the worst was when I caught my supposed friend and this guy that I liked standing there making fun of me. I cried for hours. Whoever said names can never hurt was a really lucky person. He had never been called names before. If he had, he would know how much of a lie that is."

A tear slid down Kristy's cheek, followed by another and another. She wiped them away as soon as they came, but soon there were too many and it became futile. Each tear left a trail of black mascara glistening down her cheeks, and her lashes in clumps.

"That's why it doesn't matter. I'm boyproof. No one wants me. Not now. Not ever. Why would Lucius Malfoy want a stupid mudblood like me?"

Sirius was in shock. He had no idea what to do or say. This girl was sitting here, pouring out her soul to him. What could he say back?

"Don't worry. There is someone out there that likes you."

A/N: So did you like it? Even if you didn't, review! Reviews for me are like cake for fat girls.


	2. Chapter 2

Emily woke up in the morning completely awake as always. She looked at her clock: 5:30, the perfect time to get up. Despite her roommates' habits of sleeping for as long as possible, then skipping breakfast, she loved to get up early in the morning and go for a short jog around the lake.

Kristy hated her for this. Sleeping on average nine hours a day, she wished that she too was able to maintain such a perky attitude without any sleep. This past night Kristy had gotten a pathetic three hours. Not even a cup of the grossest, strongest coffee ever could make that seem adequate.

After pulling on a pair on navy blue soffee shorts and a sky blue camisole, Emily headed down the staircase. As she walked through the seemingly empty common room, a mass of black robes jumped out at her, grabbed her from behind and dragged her out of the portrait hole into the nearest empty classroom.

Judging by the size of his hand, Emily knew that her captor was a male. Her heart jolted. What could a boy with hands that size do to her? Just about anything possible.

Emily bit her captor's hand in a desperate attempt at escaping. This simple action caused him to remove his hand immediately. As Emily turned to look at him, her panic stricken face relaxed: It was only Sirius.

"Jesus, Sirius!" she screamed at him, "You nearly gave me a heart attack!"

"Well I wanted to talk to you," he simply replied.

"And you couldn't just ask me if I wanted to talk?" she returned with a scowl.

"Of course not," Sirius answered as if that suggestion was crazy.

"Well want did you want?" she asked moodily.

"I was going to tell you that you were right."

"Well of course I was," she replied, her confidence quickly turning to confusion, "And what was I right about, again?"

"About Kristy. She likes that bastard, Lucius."

"Obviously."

"So what are we going to do about it?" Sirius sat down on top of a desk, thinking.

"What do you mean 'we'?" Emily asked raising her eyebrows, "I'm not doing anything. I'm staying out of this."

"No, you and I are going to come up with a plan so that Kristy doesn't end up with that ass."

"Because you want her with another ass," Emily mumbled angrily to herself.

"What was that?"

"Nothing, listen, she will never be with him because she is a Gryffindor muggleborn and he is a Slytherin jackass. He hates muggleborns. Why would he want to do anything with her? So don't worry about it because it will never happen and Kristy will see how much of an ass he is and stop chasing after him."

"I guess you're right."

"Duh. So can I go now?"

"Sure, whatever."

Sirius watched as she walked out of the room. He wanted to believe her. He wanted to believe that everything that she had just said would happen and Lucius would never like Kristy and everything would be perfect. But something told him that it wasn't going to be that easy. He shook this thought from his head as he walked down to breakfast. It would be fine. Everything was going to be just fine.

xXx

At lunch time, Kristy walked down to the Great Hall with Rayanne when something made that notion rather difficult. A large crowd was blocking the hallway and there wasn't any way to get through.

"What the heck?" Rayanne exclaimed. "So, do you want to go around?"

"Going around would take way too long." Kristy replied, quickly assessing the situation. "Lunch will be over by then. Besides, I kind of want to see what's happening."

As they pushed to the front of the crowd, they saw what the crowd was watching: Sirius had old Snivillus Snape in a headlock on the ground. Both wands lay forgotten beside them. Within a few seconds, several Prefects came to pull the two boys apart.

"One of these days, Black," Snape exclaimed, "One of these days you will get what's coming to you!" And with that he marched off proudly, all dignity lost in the crimson blood running from his nose.

"Alrighty then," Kristy said slowly, "I think we can go to lunch now."

"You know, I really hate that Snivillus," Sirius exclaimed catching up to them. "Every time I see him I want to punch his face in."

"What were you fighting about this time?" Rayanne asked laughing a little. For reasons unknown, she thought that beating people up was rather hilarious.

"Oh nothing. It was just him being stupid again," Sirius replied nonchalantly, "He was making fun of Gryffindors and I casually told him to stop while giving him a swift kick in the ass."

xXx

Snape strutted down to the Slytherin dungeons, still thick with hate after his fight. As the wall opened to allow him through, Snape noticed that the only person in the room coincidentally happened to be the one person who he had been looking for: Lucius Malfoy.

"Malfoy," Snape called, "I have some information which you may enjoy very much."

"Don't waste my time, Snape," Lucius drawled, "I have little use for any information you have."

"It does concern a certain person who you have been seeking revenge against for years," Snape replied with a gleam in his small black eyes.

This seemed to catch Lucius's attention. "Well what is it?"

"It's going to cost you," Snape answered slowly, "ten galleons."

With a slight scowl, Lucius reached into the pocket of his robes and pulled out the money. "This better be good."

A rushed whisper was heard as Snape told Lucius all that he knew. A smile broadened on Lucius's face with every word. The information was astoundingly perfect.


	3. Chapter 3

Kristy lay by the lake, soaking in the sun that fell around her like a hot bath with a pile of decapitated daisies by her side. A small voice in the back of her head kept reminding her that she had a mountain of homework sitting upstairs waiting for her. Ignoring this thought, she picked another daisy and began chanting 'He loves me; he loves me not' rhythmically while plucking each individual petal. She came to the last petal, a disappointing 'He loves me not,' and let the petal-less daisy drop into the pile with the others.

"I think that 'He loves me; he loves me not' is a rather stupid game," came a voice from above her.

As soon as the voice spoke, Kristy's eyes shot opened. Unprepared for the sun that she ended up staring into, Kristy winced and shut her eyes while standing to face the person who had spoken to her: Lucius Malfoy.

As she stood facing him, Kristy attempted to hide both her embarrassment at being caught playing such a childish game and her wishes for Lucius to strip down and start doing pushups in a speedo. She slowly replied with a nonchalant, "Why?" hoping that it would hide all of her feelings.

"Oh, it's just that the outcome always varies," he replied with a small smirk, "Sometimes it's not true. Sometimes it's a 'He loves me not.'"

Kristy, unable to control herself any longer, felt a slow warmth creeping up into her face. Sure that this was not from the sun, Kristy quickly announced truthfully, "I have to go finish my essays. You know, fifth year has a ton of homework."

She began to turn away when Lucius caught her by the hand. "You know, I've been wanting to ask you," he started, looking oddly bashful, "would you like to go to Hogsmeade with me tomorrow?"

Kristy stared at him for several seconds with wide opened eyes, wondering if this was all a dream. It had to be. No one ever did that in her real life. What if this is all an illusion? What if life is an illusion? What if in reality, no one exists? Kristy's vision bleared and her hearing faded as she pondered the meaning of life. But by that time, Lucius had begun to speak again. "So I'm guessing that that is a 'No'?"

He turned and started walking away. Kristy blinked as she realized that she was missing her chance. She willed herself to move, to snap out of it. But all she could do was stare at that shapely retreating butt. And what a great butt it was. Moving with the rhythmic steps that it took. That butt had just asked her out. She had just as good as said no to that butt! As said butt began to move up the stone steps to the entrance of the castle, Kristy's hearing returned to her. She heard voices talking and laughing all around her. She wanted so badly to talk and laugh… with Lucius.

"Oh my God, I'm an idiot!" she muttered under her breath before bolting across the grounds and into the building where she saw the most gorgeous person she had ever seen walking away from her. "Yes!" she exclaimed causing him to stop and turn back around.

Kristy gasped for air as she took a final step toward him. "Yes, I would love to go to Hogsmeade with you."

"Great," he replied with a slight raise of the eyebrows, "I'll meet you in the Great Hall right after breakfast."

"Ok," Kristy replied before running off up the stairs. She could not believe what had just happened. Never in a million years did she think that Lucius Malfoy, Slytherin Quidditch Captain, complete hottie, and getter of any girl he desired would ask her out.

As Kristy burst into the common room, she looked around for someone, anyone, that she could tell. She noticed Lily had her head stuck into a textbook, like the good student that she was. "Lily," Kristy shouted across the room earning several stares, "I need to talk to you right now! It's super important!"

"Hold on, I'm almost done with this chapter," Lily said without taking her eyes off of the text.

"Lily, this is like big news," Kristy insisted.

"Fine I'm listening," Lily replied exasperatedly.

"Not here," Kristy answered noticing the amount of people looking up at her. "Let's go to the dorm!"

Lily got up and walked followed Kristy to their room. As she closed the door, Kristy noticed that Rayanne was lying on her bed doing her own homework.

"You will never guess what just happened!" Kristy exclaimed.

"We've already established that," Lily replied wearily, "apparently big news."

"Yeah," Kristy paused for dramatic effect while a deep shade of crimson came to her cheeks and a smile broadened across her face. "Lucius Malfoy asked me out!"

Lily, who had been expecting something along the lines of 'I found an amazing new brand of eyeliner,' dropped her textbook on her foot. Rayanne gasped and squealed, "That's amazing!"

"I know, I'm so excited!" Kristy exclaimed jumping up and down, "We're going to Hogsmeade together tomorrow, so sorry that I can't go shopping with you guys like we normally do."

"That's fine," Rayanne replied, "Don't worry about it, honestly. If I was asked out by the guy of my dreams, I would ditch you. No offense."

Kristy grinned as she hugged her friend, "I'm so excited. Where do you think that he'll take me?"

"Probably somewhere romantic," Rayanne replied dreamily laying back down on her bed.

"You know," Lily cut in slowly, "I don't think you should go."

Kristy turned to face her best friend. "You don't think I should go?"

"Right."

"Why not?" Kristy demanded indignantly.

"Kristy, I hate to say this, but don't you find this all just a little bit odd that a boy who has always been, to put it lightly, anti-muggleborns is all of a sudden asking you out?" Lily asked, attempting to reason with her.

"I can't believe you!" Kristy shouted, "I thought you of all people Lily, my best friend, would be happy for me."

"Kristy," Lily replied softly, "I don't want to see you get hurt."

"You're just jealous," Kristy declaration, "You're jealous because you can't get a guy, and I can."

"Look Potter asks me out practically every day! I could have him if I wanted, but I don't want him. Do you know why?"

"Why is that?" Kristy snarled.

"Because I don't throw myself at every guy that comes along."

Kristy's mouth dropped open. Was her best friend calling her a slut? "Well maybe…" Kristy began. Damn… her brain stopped. "Maybe…" come on comebacks, "Maybe I'd rather be with a guy who wants to make me happy than a girl who wants to strip me of all the happiness that I've ever known."

After giving Lily one last disgusted look, Kristy stepped out of the room with a final slam of the door. As soon as she took one step down the stairs, vivid memories struck her of the two of them in second year making a pact to never let a boy come between them. A tear dropped to the floor as she realized that Lily had broken that pact just then. She had broken it because of jealousy. She couldn't handle the fact that Kristy had a date for tomorrow while she was yet again going with friends. Kristy knew that she wasn't apologizing. And she wasn't going back. Lily would just have to find a new best friend.


End file.
